Here's the thing about birthdays......EVERYONE FREAKING HAS ONE. So MAYBE yours is not that big of a fucking deal? Just a thought. I hate the little bitches who think OMG (yes these are the same bitches who use these innane abbreviations) It's my birthday, everyone needs to take me out and buy me dinner and I'll be really pouty if I don't have an amazing time and everyone doesn't come. Ok fine - I like you as a friend - I'd like to keep you as a friend - so I'll go to your goddamn dinner. But you, like the rest of us are going to school on loans.....SO WHY THE FUCK DO YOU CHOOSE THE FANCIEST FUCKING RESTAURANT AROUND? The people sitting next to use are celebrating their 30th anniversary.............MAYBE the reason we are here should be similarly as important, not the fact that you turned 23...... And then the freaking 300 dollar check comes around and you're all like ooooh noooo you don't have to pay for me - but honestly we all know that's the reason you picked this fucking joint - so now we have to pay for you - and pay for your gift - and why the fuck am I spending more on your stupid birthday dinner than I spent for my boyfriend and mine's fancy 1 year anniversary dinner.....Oh and wait....that's right on my birthday all you did was get me a stupid fucking cake from the crappiest grocery store around. But you know what - THAT'S WHAT BIRTHDAY'S SHOULD BE. It should be you and your friends and gross fucking cake and hanging out and boom that's it. You don't need to wear heels and get all dolled up on a Fucking WEEK NIGHT. I'm bitter.
Fuck this - you were born - get over it
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